Refracted Neurons

There's a new set of Acura adverts out that say, "Stick To What You Love." It made me start thinking about what I love. At first I was thinking of who I love, but then I realized that that's not what the advert says. So instead of trying to unscramble that mess in my brain, I thought, "Gee, what do I love?" This is what I came up with: 1. I love people. I have shut myself off from people for a while now, and just recently started opening up my life to people again. I want to make new friends and renew old friendships. I've been delinquent-but no more. 2. I love music. I love going to shows and trying to play instruments. I love singing-to myself, to my cat, to my friends (while they give me crazy looks). 3. I love poetry. I love writing poems, reading my poems to other people and seeing it touch them. I like reading and hearing other's poetry. I like being touched so deeply by a poem that I want to shake the poet and yell at him/her to stop. 4. ...

No this has nothing to do with the fabulous book by a similar name. My family and I got really silly with a measuring tape and here are the results: My head is 22.5" around My hair is 59" long My neck is 12" around From finger tip to finger tip, my arm span is 5'6" I am 5'5" Chest, waist, hips: 36", 27", 37" My feet are 9" long Yeah, go on, tell yourself I'm really weird. You know you're going to go and measure to see if your head is bigger than mine. 

"In a Swedish newspaper poll taken last year, 40 percent of respondents said they'd like to be freeze-dried and used to grow a plant."-Mary Roach, Stiff "People were getting mugged going to church . . . then the city condemned the sanctuary . . . you know how it is."

This past week sucked: 1. I yelled at someone I shouldn't have yelled at. 2. Cried over #1. 3. Messed up in front of someone I've been trying to impress. 4. Got charged for validated parking (this should be illegal). 5. My boss' car was broken into (I'm appropriating other's problems). 6. Got an eye infection from #2 (now wearing glasses and taking steroid/antibiotic drops). 7. Fell up a case of stairs due to #6 and scraped up my hand. 8. Found out that my brakes are bad and had to spend three hours at the mechanics not for them to fix it, but for them to tell me that my brakes are bad. Funny In Spite Of It All: 1. Getting taken out to lunch by my boss' boss for messing up. 2. Having a co-worker tell me that she doesn't like my glasses because, "You have such beautiful eyes and the glasses make them look weird and sleepy." 3. Horrifying a friend by insisting on cleaning my scraped hand with Scope (the only antiseptic that she owns and...

I was in QFC in a bad mood (I've been PMSing) with only bean dip and a pizza in my cart trying to find the Pepsi. I finally spotted it under a large neon sign that said "Foreign Cuisine" and was about to go grab one, when the clearance section caught my eye. Nine times out of ten, I find nothing even remotely interesting and/or useful in the clearance section, but I always am compelled to look. So I'm poking at useless and broken items and I see something out of the corner of my eye that appears to say, "Female Urinal Device." I bend down and, sure enough, that's what the box says. Don't get me wrong, I know there's a perfectly good use for these things when one is in traction or whatever, but the last place I would go looking for one would be a QFC. So I'm standing there bent over, staring at the Female Urinal Device with my mouth open, when I hear a voice behind me say, "Can I help you find anything?" I turn around (stand up and ...

What is it about me lately that makes men want to 1. Spank me (or at least the air next to my butt) 2. Kiss me 3. Ask me out "Where's you're ring?" "I don't have a ring." "Where's your man? Hey, come back here!" "I'm sorry, sir, but your youth is not here." "What are your plans tonight? Going to a party?" "Yes." "You should take me as your date." "It's not that kind of party." "What kind of party is it? Drinking and drugs?" "No, I don't do that. It's just close personal friends." "You should bring me. They'll be fucking, I mean hella surprised." "No, that's okay. Just cross 12th Avenue and that should take you where you need to be." Am I wearing a sign? If so, what does it say?