Refracted Neurons

If you know me well enough to sit down at the table with me, then you know that I'm picky.  My best friend reminded me of that this weekend by triumphantly declaring that she had celebrated National Doughnut Day.  "Yuck," I cringed. "Next week is Jelly-filled Doughnut Day," she sang, no doubt still high on all that powdered sugar. "Oh God," I prayed, "Why isn't there a something-that's-not-disgusting day?" *********************************************** One of the things I'm not overly fond of is fondue.  This wouldn't really be that strange, except that I own a fondue pot.  Actually, I think at one point I owned two fondue pots.  Now before you get angry at me for owning something impractical that is used for something I hate, lean in a little closer. Closer . . . Let me whisper in your ear . . . Sukiyaki.   Shabu Shabu.  Hot Pot.  One pot soups . . . Shabu Plus I honestly had never had anything other...

My husband is sitting next to me eating oatmeal with cornflakes and peanuts. Bleh. Earlier this week he cooked cucumbers. Every time he turned his head I would take one of the cucumbers off my plate and stick it in his.

N: "What do you eat for brunch besides Pop-Tarts?" M: "Yeah, brunch is hard for me.  I'm the Anti-Brunch.  I like potato things, like hash browns, potatoes O'Brien . . ." N: "I could make potato pancakes!" M: "I don't like pancakes." N: "It's not really a pancake, it's more like a giant hash brown." M: "Like a latke?  I don't like latkes." N: "Um." M: "And then people put apple sauce on them.  Ew." N: "I don't know how to make latkes.  It really is like hashed browns.  B likes to put eggs on top." M: <silent egg hating moment> N: "Not on yours though.  I know you hate eggs.  And we'll have fresh fruit smoothies.  What kind of smoothies do you like?" M: "I hate smoothies." N: "Okay, what kind of milkshakes do you like?" M: "Chocolate." N: "Are you telling me that if someone offered you a ...

Eating Rolos makes me strangely sad and filled with longing.

So I guess this is old news, but I only heard about it recently.  I probably missed it because I hate doughnuts.  Apparently Krispy Kreme has created a doughnut flavored milkshake.  But before we delve into that, a little history: I think I started hating doughnuts after eating a jelly doughnut at a birthday party/gymnastics class.  I learned the hard way that jelly doughnut + gymnastics= a very upset stomach.   I doesn't help that I hate slimy things.  The fact that doughnuts often have slimy things hidden in them really grosses me out.  I don't really like the taste either.  Worst of all is the texture.  Doughnuts are always dense and greasy.  My favorite doughnuts (when I actually ate them) were Hostess Donettes, especially when they were a little on the stale side.  Hostess Donettes were always incredibly dry and predictable. I also have issues with some milkshakes.  By "some milkshakes" I mean...

I am a very picky eater. However, I love Starbucks' cinnamon rolls.  Apparently, so does everyone else because three quarters of the time I try to buy one and they're all out.  Here's how the conversation goes: Me: Do you have any cinnamon rolls? Overly Cheerful Barista: Oh, no.  Sorry, sold out.  How about a pumpkin cinnamon scone or a slice of non-fat cinnamon pound cake? Me: (looking disgusted) No, no, no!  Really, that's okay! Honestly, I find the rest of their pastries overly pretentious and the rest of their food not very good either.  So here's the question: if you make something really fabulous that sells out every day, why not make more of it and earn better profits?  Why only stock a specific number of cinnamon rolls?  Is it a franchise specification? Also, why don't independent/no slave labor/shade grown/fair trade coffee shops sell cinnamon rolls?  They always have tofu doughnuts and mafia muffins (heavy as cement shoes...

Amala picks melted cheese off things. G hates raisins, prunes, Cheese Nips, fabric softener, lotion, and playing cards. Platano picks onions off everything. J hates all condiments except Ketchup, jam, and a few others. Ob and Hez are vegans. My sister is allergic to cheese and crab. My mom doesn't like food that's too spicy. My dad hates stewed tomatoes. KM won't eat any meat except fish. The Hebrews had very restricted diets and they were God's chosen people. Jesus didn't eat pork either. E, who was in the military, doesn't like the food on her plate to touch other food on her plate. I've known a plethora of people who don't like olives, especially green ones. N wouldn't eat a cheeto with cheese wiz on it. I won't eat a lot of things. Amala likes orange suckers. G likes vienna sausages. Platano likes all kinds of foods. J also likes vienna sausage. Ob and Hez eat weird green things (semiola?). My sister likes tabuli. My da...