Refracted Neurons

I met a dog at the park today, a big husky with blue eyes. It was so big and muscular, that it's man couldn't control it. It ran up to me and made me pet it. When I passed it again, it jerked towards me and almost tripped it's man. I wanted to steal it. I ran today at the park. I ran across the grass and up the hill. Then the "I'm not in shape" started to kick in. Everything started turning orange. For a second there, it felt really good. Harm I don't wish on anybody ---------------------------- 1. Falling in a giant vat of boiling lard 2. Getting shot out of a giant catapult 3. Having your corpse eaten by llamas 4. Being attacked by an industrial sized can of pears 5. Feeling the need to repeat what people say and yell "YAY!" afterward. 6. Getting run over by an Element 

"How can I vow eternal love for one man when I can't even maintain a month's devotion to a single pair of earrings?"-In the Presence of the Enemy, Elizabeth George "'He set out to give me the heebie-jeebies, and he certainly succeeded. I don't mean . . .' Didn't mean what? To be racist? Was 'heebie-jeebies' short for 'Hebrew' jeebies? But that was ridiculous. That would be 'Hebrew-jeebrews,' a phrase which was meaningless."-Stephen King "It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That doesn't neccessarily mean it's serious, too."-Kilgore Trout on life, Breakfast of Champions, Kurt Vonnegut Why Commuters (and especially I) don't like Tourists --------------------------------------------------------- 1. They managed to run McDonald's out of icecream today. 2. They leave their car alarms on when they ride the ferry. 3. They talk loudly and/or play their car stereos while commu...

When I was little, I wanted to be a house wife or a bagger at Safeway. When I was in Junior High, I wanted to be a librarian. When I was in High School, I wanted to be a Spanish teacher. When I was in College, I wanted to be a social worker. I want to be a disease cowgirl for the CDC. I want to be married, have two kids and one-point-five dogs. I want to be an inventor, a dreamer. I want to be honest and to show I care with my actions. I want to be known for sinking my teeth in. I want to be loved through my weaknesses and encouraged in my strengths. More than anything, I want to be ABLE to give than to someone else. Hell, it won't happen. 

"Real virtue springs from conflict and from choices that are so terrible they cost you more than you believe you have." -Tathea, Anne Perry What an excellent day. I found Tathea under the desk at work. I have been missing that book for months. I went to Costco with Platano today. I was talking with her about people we used to work with. She brought up Batin, saying that she hoped he would realize his potential someday. I told her how sad I felt about the way he lived his life. I do feel sad about it. I think about him everyday when I say my prayers. Sometimes I pray for him. Sometimes I don't. My boyfriend called today while I was out with Platano. I guess his submarine surfaced for ten seconds. I missed talking to him. 

"The only way to deal with bureaucrats is with stealth and sudden violence." -United Nations Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali "They don't want us to know their name, so they don't have a name. You can't fight back against something that don't have a name." -Dead Eye Dick, Kurt Vonnegut "How much of our life occurs simply because we don't step backwards fast enough?" -The Eye of the Cricket, James Sallis "Wisdom . . . To follow the word of God even when you cannot imagine an end and there is no light to your path, that is courage, and the beginning of understanding." -Tathea, Anne Perry 

So my friend Amala told me that I should start a live journal. So here it is. She had no idea that I would give her a Hindu psuedonym. I should have named her Henry V or Zest. Anyway, hi, my name is Matty (AKA Mellla) and I like to write lists. For example: Things I don't really want, but can't stop thinking about __________________________________________________ 1. Disease 2. Rubber gloves for my feet 3. Llamas 4. Being stranded in the woods 5. 16' rims 6. A boob job 7. Fame 8. Batin 9. Mental illness 10. Missing Fingers Today Obadiah sent me a postcard. He is such a weirdo. It was number five out of a set of five postcards. That would be fine, except he only sent me the fifth one. 

Yes, I'm starting a list of books that I have read from last month on. Here it is: 1. The Comming Plague 2. Tathea 3. Phineas Gage; A Gruesome but True Story About Brain Science 4. A Graveyard for Lunatics 5. One for the Road What I'm reading now: And the Band Played On Yesterday I was hanging out with an old friend who unknowingly put things into perspective for me. He was merely trying to eat as much "free food" as possible and somehow impressed upon me how long ago all that stuff with Batin was. I feel less hunted by my past and moreover, that I made good decisions. I am also auspiciously dating a really great guy. Do I deserve this? Hell no. "Without waiting and cost, there would no longer be the sublime gift of sacrifice, which is the greatest love."-Tathea, Anne Perry