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If I Wasn't Shy

I'm afraid of the Oreck Repair guy because
1. He's hot
2. He has a southern accent
3. He's tall
So I get all excited anytime the vacuum cleaner breaks.

The other day Amala and I went to a TexMex restaurant. Our waiter was terrifying to me because
1. He was wearing my ex-fiance's head
2. He was huge
Or maybe the tables were really low. I was freaking out.

Then I realized that anytime I'm attracted to a guy, I avoid him like the plague.

Oooo, plague!

Okay, maybe not like the plague. Maybe like clowns. 

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