Refracted Neurons

I had a dream last night where I was looking at either a sunset or a sunrise.  It was like a screensaver in my head.  A voice was talking to me while I looked at the sky.  It was telling me that I could choose to die now and have a painless death.  I would just go into the sunset/sunrise.  I said that I didn't want to go yet because I didn't like the way I had been living lately and didn't want to face God that way.  I think it's funny that I didn't say I didn't want to die because there are things I want to do and people who I don't want to leave.  Both those things are true, yet I didn't say that. 

A therapist named Roger Hillerstrom came to talk at a fellowship that I go to.  He said a lot of really interesting things, but one of the most interesting to me was his intimacy continuum.  He based it on things that you share with someone instead of vague concepts like, "mutual trust." So here's my summary of it: Level 1: You are willing to share factual information with the other person.  Example: "Oh, look it's raining!"  Violation: "Only an idiot would think it's raining."  Defense: No personal information was shared. Level 2: You are willing to share other people's opinions.  Example: "My boss thinks that he can predict the rain by his headaches."  Violation: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Defense: "I don't believe that either." Level 3: You are willing to share your opinions.  Example: "I think that the rain is beautiful."  Violation: "What?! The rain is ...

I woke up this morning wondering why my eyes were red and nastified.  Then I remembered that I had cried myself to sleep for no particularly good reason. My boss had a dream that she and I were at a family's house doing an FPS visit.  The family pulled out guns and so did my boss, but I didn't have a gun.  I got shot and taken to the hospital.  The doctor came out and told my boss that I was bleeding purple.  My boss said, "Oh, that's because she's a unicorn." I ran out of my Advair this weekend.  I felt okay on Saturday and started to wheeze late in the day.  Sunday I started wheezing and coughing as soon as I woke up.  By four, I felt like I was going to throw up. I went to see Departed at 2:30 with a friend.  I thought I would have plenty of time to drop him off at home and pick up my prescription at Target before they closed at six.  The movie was three hours long!  I mean it was okay as far as Irish Mafia movies go, but ...

I had a scary dream last night that I was trying to kill myself by overdosing on Tylenol.  I wasn't really sure if I wanted to kill myself and I had taken six.  I was trying to figure out if that was going to kill me or if I could change my mind.  That would be a terrible, terrible way to go.  Talk about slow, painful, expensive death. When I came home tonight my neighbor walked up to me and started telling me that he had found a six foot blonde man in the bushes peering in someone's window.  He called the police, but they didn't catch the guy.  I'm assuming that this is the reason my neighbor was accused of peering in this girl's window and that he probably knows her and is stalking her.  I told my neighbor it was probably someone she knew.  He didn't seem to believe me, but then went on to tell me that he was peeking in her window five minutes before she got home.  "See," I said, "he knows her schedule."  He told me to be careful an...

Most people who have been in or near my car know that I have a custom built box in the back.  Only a few people know that I ended up with it because someone took one of my jokes seriously and thought I really wanted my hybrid to go boom. Regardless, I love my sub and got really sad when it stopped working a couple weeks ago.  At first I thought it was a fuse.  I have had fuse problems with it before.  Once the fuse harness in the front melted because the guy who built it didn't know that you can't put a fuse marked 50 in a fuse harness marked 20.  So I checked my fuses and they looked fine. Then I thought maybe a wire had come loose somewhere.  This also used to happen all the time before my dad soldered all of them on and put on better quick-disconnects.  I am not an electrician and the wires run from the accessory battery under the hood, to the stereo, through different panels inside the car, to the trunk.  In other words, at best I might be...