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Why I don't drink

"You're energetic today."
"I think it's because all I had to eat was green olives and shortbread. Maybe I'm pregnant . . . Go me! Immaculate conception! The Holy Spirit dwelt upon me, ye-ah!"
"What form did the Holy Spirit take this time?"
"Lots of hot men. Maybe that wasn't a dream after all."
*************************************************
"That's false advertising! That's like me changing my name to 'Hot Sex.'"
"You're going to change your name to 'Hot Sex?'"
"It would be false adventising!"
"Are you drunk?"
"No . . ."

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