Refracted Neurons

1. Disease 2. Llamas 3. Being part of a post-apocalyptic commune 4. A boob job 5. A little red Honda motorcycle 6. Underwear that's so sexy it hurts (literally) 7. Psychic powers 8. Earthquakes 9. Mental illness 10. Missing Fingers 

I can't put into words what's bothering me, so time to laugh: Our topic of the month for our Health and Safety Committee at work was Rabies.  The guy who was presenting the topic had this to say: Guy (G): If I ever get Rabies I'm gonna bite someone and give them Rabies. Me (M): How? G: Just walk up to someone and bite them. M: Anyone? G: Anyone. M: Co-workers? G: Yup. M: (scooting back chair) Enemies? G: If I bit my enemy, I wouldn't tell them I had Rabies.

This morning I was reading the Evil Plan book that my best friend and I created.  I realized that I haven't written in there since about 2004 sometime.  Anyway, here's what the me of two years ago was plotting: "Complain about feeling ill.  Run unexpectedly towards cute guy.  Projectile vomit on cute guy's pants.  Yell, 'Quick, take off your pants!  I'll get some water on them!'  Be very urgent about this.  Leave . . . with pants.  Do not ever ever return." Cute guys of the world, BEWARE!