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Short Story: Nobody Likes A Gossip


You want to know what happened?

One moment I was sitting in front of my trailer in my lawn chair.  The next Freddy Blanchard’s roof had lifted off and it was raining fire.

Megan opened her slider, only to get hit by a roof vent.  “Pigs-in-a-blanket,” she cursed.

“Watch your mouth,” I stood, the plastic slats of my chair sticking to my behind.

Megan’s nineteen-year-old daughter, Lila poked her head out, and boy did her eyes get wide.  Then she did the last thing I expected her to do, running barefoot through the fire, her sundress swirling around her in a manner that would get her branded as the devil incarnate.

Freddy was not in a good way.  He lay next to his wife’s garden gnome, only inches away from his wooden porch.  It was on fire, and boy was it heating up good.

But what really got the squirrels in my britches was the two rescuers taking turns at chest compressions and breathing: big old Vernon Jones with his jailhouse tattoos and fallen angel Lila.  She paused between breaths, “Are you tiring?  Let’s switch.”  And Vernon nodded, just like a little lamb.  He didn’t even stop to wipe the red lipstick from Freddy’s mouth, just tipped his head back and blew into him like he was one of those inflatable rafts.

I asked him later what it tasted like and he cursed at me.  Freddy was an infernal smoker and Lila couldn’t afford much more than a tube of Wet ‘N Wild, so I can only imagine how much he suffered.  The thing that puzzles me is that he did it in the first place.  He got nothing in return, not even a day subtracted from his probation.

So now you know what happened.  Just don’t run around telling no one.  Nobody likes a gossip.
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Cross-Posted to Deadlines For Writers
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Most of the time I don't even notice when I have to cut things to get down to a word count.  This time, I had to cut the phrase "fear painting a rainbow in his hazel eyes" and I'm still sore about that.  Actually, I had to cut the character who that described in the first place.   

Save Desdemona is still available for free with the coupon SS100.  The sale runs through the end of July.  

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